great essays give me a happy

Meaness doesn't really pay. But you like to do it anyway.

I don't. Thing is I've NEVER been good at being mean to people, at least not intentionally. I just can't do it because I feel bad pretty immediately and then I have to apologize and I HATE apologizing because that admits to wrong doing and I can DO NO WRONG. So, why do something that I'm going to need to apologize for anyway. Besides, usually when I feel the need to lash out it has nothing at all to do with the person and it's just me needing to vent, so what's the point in that. I hate taking my moods out on other people because it isn't their fault in the first place.

Sometimes, though, I really wish I could be mean. I mean really mean. Like Mean Girls mean. And let's not kid ourselves because I am NOT a very nice person. I'm too honest for that. I do, however, have tact and common sense and an exaggerated sense of fair play.

Plus, my mother always said that if you don't have anything nice to say then don't say anything at all.

I've mostly grown out of that.

It still haunts me, however.

It's really unsettling to admit that.

...

(no subject)

For thawrecka:

A very late birthday present, so we'll call it something for the Holiday Season!!

Fsndom: Firefly
A/N: 100 words, River.
Rating: G
Summary: She fills the cup just over half way


The Temperature of Water


“Cha Dao,” Inara smiles.

“The art of making tea.”

River remembers red clay from childhood. Inara’s teapot is elegant black porcelain.

River’s hands dance over the cups, between chopsticks and a bamboo scoop. She sips the tea and falters, Inara’s life balances on her lips, washes behind her eyes.

This is the good part. The beyond the skin part when she can taste the color of Inara’s eyes, drink up her longing and spit it back into the world. She can look at Mal with knowing eyes, and Simon and Kaylee. Taste the waste of their love and the loss.