(no subject)

[seraphcelene]

For thawrecka:

A very late birthday present, so we'll call it something for the Holiday Season!!

Fsndom: Firefly
A/N: 100 words, River.
Rating: G
Summary: She fills the cup just over half way


The Temperature of Water


“Cha Dao,” Inara smiles.

“The art of making tea.”

River remembers red clay from childhood. Inara’s teapot is elegant black porcelain.

River’s hands dance over the cups, between chopsticks and a bamboo scoop. She sips the tea and falters, Inara’s life balances on her lips, washes behind her eyes.

This is the good part. The beyond the skin part when she can taste the color of Inara’s eyes, drink up her longing and spit it back into the world. She can look at Mal with knowing eyes, and Simon and Kaylee. Taste the waste of their love and the loss.

Comments

[lettered.livejournal.com]

This was truly lovely. I particularly loved the rhythm and rhyme in the phrases:

The beyond the skin part

Taste the waste

[seraphcelene]

Thank you!!! Glad that you liked it. I've found that with my writing the fic I like the most are the ones that do have a sort of rhythm. They seem to flow for me. This was mostly one of those.

I've been so busy with closing this period at work that I forgot that I had posted this. And lo!! Feedback. Thank you so much!!

[destro.livejournal.com]

Like tkp said, I love this part: Taste the waste of their love and the loss.

I love how you drew the connection between tears and tea and how River exists outside of the timeline of everyone she meets, how River can just collapse time to a single glance. River is hard for me to read because most people use her as a crutch to have every line she says be an obscure metaphor or butchered syntax. I like your River because she knows exactly where she is...and where everyone else is going to be.

I really need to feedback some of your past stuff, I've fallen so woefully behind. Dude, Israel in two weeks! I'll have planty time :)

[seraphcelene]

River is hard for me to read because most people use her as a crutch to have every line she says be an obscure metaphor or butchered syntax. I like your River because she knows exactly where she is...and where everyone else is going to be.

Thanks you!!! You've been so busy, crazy girl! I hope that finals are going well.

River is the Drusilla of Firefly fandom. The tendency can be to just give her random and wacky things to say that sound cool but maybe don't have much meaning. The problem, imho, with River is that there's a disconnect between her and the world so that she knows and understands, she gets it, but she can't communicate anything to the outside.

The challenge in writing her, like writing Drusilla, is to provide just enough reference so that what she says has meaning, but not to give it all away. Plus, River, unlike Drusilla, has moments of lucidity with or without the drugs. She can function in the world even if it's only temporary.

So, glad that you like! And YAY for Israel. I love reading about your visits. It's always wacky good fun.

Plus, hey the lure of feedback is no small thing!!

[thawrecka]

Oh, sweetie, this is stunning. You have such a way with words and characterisation.

[seraphcelene]

'sanks!!!