Why Yes, Mr. Waiter. I would LOVE more cheese with my wine! Projects and my interest in YOUR fic

[seraphcelene]

Thank you to everyone who gave me a boost during my emotional free-for-all the other day. Thanks for putting up with me and for all of the insightful comments and the reassurance.

I was a little hesitant about posting my little manifesto, not locking it, and later, leaving it up. Watching it sit there is a little like standing in front of the class without any clothes on. But isn't that what I'm aiming for, anyway? More vulnerablility in my writing. Going to those uncomfortable places and baring it all. So. With that in mind, I want to write. There are quite a few projects that I've been working on for the last year but which have been side lined for one reason or another. And I've just added four more to the list. Aiya!

What on Earth am I thinking. :)



The Seduction of Wendy Darling: A Tragedy in Three Parts
Peter Pan. Two of the three parts are almost complete. This is over a year old. I put this one on the back burner because I'm always hesitant about writing in a new fandom. However, I think that it's a pretty strong first effort and it's time to finish it up and get it out to the people. (g)


The Aftermath: A Fairy Tale (working title)
BtVS. Willow/Tara. The final part of the Ceremonies of Light and Dark trilogy. Part one is Secrets Not Long Buried and part two is A Butterfly Dream of Sand and Sky. I know exactly where I want to go with this story, but I've been hung up on the logistics. Formatting the story, choosing the POV and the stylistics has been difficult. The tone of a story, it's structure and voice, are usually very organic for me. It always is what it is, but this one has been pulling me in three or four different directions. I think I've finally settled on what I want, actually merging two previous considered styles.

The Golden Lotus, extended
BtVS. Extended slayer-fic that began as a drabble of the same name. I'm struggling with the fic, it wants to be longer than I'm comfortable with writing. My writing is pretty organic so trying to resist the impulse to make this more than four or five pages is difficult because I usually go with what my gut tells me. Over five pages and I just get plained scared and that's not fair to the story. I think The Golden Lotus is deserving of the length and, like I said, this story wants to be more than a flash in the pan. So that means I've got to work out some sort of plot. I've got maybe half a plot and an ending. The beginning bits are the most difficult, namely framing the introduction.

Assatanata
pre-BtVS/Angel. Darla/Angel/Dru. Originally intended for the Darla ficathon. I choked and wrote Eternal Return instead. This is a historical piece and I ran out of time to do the necessary research. I do, however, love the atmosphere in this one, so I don't want to give up on it completely.

unamed Tara/Beth
pre-BtVS. I've got maybe three pages so far. I really want to write this but I'm unsure about where it's going to go and what it's going to be in the end. I really need to sit down and plot it out. Actually think about it.

unnamed Giles/Wesley
BtVS/Angel. I wrote the opening for a slash piece. I'm going to give it a shot because I love the imagery and I never write slash. It's good to try new things.

Morbid and Creepifyin: thoughts on writing 'eyes like the summer, all beauty and truth'
Firefly. Essay. Thinky thoughts on the writing process, back story and Hemingway's iceberg as they relate to my submission for the 2005 Serenity Santa. It's mostly written, but I'm not happy with it. So. Revisions, ahoy!

More Color for the Bruise: thoughts on writing 'That Which Survives' and 'Hemorrhage'
BtVS. Essay. Originally I was going to focus on the process of writing Xander/Dawn, but I haven't written enough Xander/Dawn to be any sort of expert and so I've decided to focus on my fic and why I did what I did. Xander/Dawn, from what I've read, has a tendancy to be one of those rare happily ever after's in fandom. As always, I resisted that impulse because for me they are just as tragic a pair as any. In a very major way, they are even more tragic.

Impressions (revision)
BtVS. Spike/Jesse written for a ficathon that I can't remember. Desperately needs a beta and to be revised. Hopefully I can turn it into a proper fic. I'm very skittish about writing Spike, let alone Jesse, so it's been on the backburner. The plain truth is that I'm just scared of it.

A Wave of Moonlight Gloss (revision)
BtVS. Au Xander/Dawncubii. The sequel to To the Waters and the Wild, I've been revising this one for months. For some reason I'm still not happy with it. I'm finding an awkwardness in the language that I can't seem to correct. I work on it and then take a step back then work on it and then step back and it's still not getting any better. I need to get a beta for it, a second set of eyes will do it some good.

Bloodletting (tentative)
BtVS/Angel. AU Buffy/Angelus in which Buffy is vamped. That's all I got at the moment, it may or may not turn into a full-fledged fic

Ways and Means (potential working title)
BtVS/Vampire Chronicles. Provided that I feel like putting up with Ms. Rice's world and mucho grande attitude towards fic writers, and provided that I actually write Bloodletting, Ways and Means will get written. The sequel to Bloodletting, I'd like to make Ways and Means a Buffy/Louis fic. I've got some vague visuals and a sense of the tone, but again, I don't know if it will actually be written.




Now, here comes the audience participation portion of today's post. In light of my 'moment', I'd like to ask for two things from all of you:

1. Rec me the fic that you've written that you are most in love with. Tell me why you love it. Any and all thoughts, from I like that I referred to the word penis twenty-seven times in twenty-seven various and brilliant ways to I love the way that I took a chance on a new character.

2. Rec me what you consider to be your most challenging fic. What fic gave you the most trouble writing and why. I'd also like to know what you feel about it. Do you think it was a success? Have you come to terms with it? Have you made your peace and buried the hatchet or did you just burn the manuscript?

Inquiring minds want to know, ya'll.

Happy Friday!!

Comments

[lostakasha.livejournal.com]

Boy, you don't ask for much, do you? ;-D Thank you for asking -- it was interesting to rediscover these.

The fic I love the most is That Mournful Whistle (http://lostakasha.livejournal.com/16915.html). It's a series of 4 drabbles that take place as Angel leaves L.A. in 1952 post-Are You Now or Have You Ever Been.

I'm big into explaining things that are just touched on in canon -- things that on the surface are one thing, but underneath are much, much more. And I love that Angel denies himself pleasures that could be so easily taken for granted. So here's my love song to him. I really do adore this little thing -- it's far from perfect, but it makes me hurt for him, and I love that!

The fic I had the toughest time with is Lamb of God (http://lostakasha.livejournal.com/13127.html), my take on how Angelus drove Drusilla mad. It posed a problem because I wanted to keep it real, and didn't know much about Catholic England in 1860 -- so I did a lot of research that never made it into the piece, but that made me feel more secure in writing it. Plus, I took the risk of inventing a family for Dru. That was scary. I'm still not sure if it worked; I think it does in places, but there's revisioning aplenty that I can see.

[lettered.livejournal.com]

It worked, it worked! Omg, Lamb of God was when I fell in love with you. Tell me again why we're not getting married?

I'll have to hie me to That Mournful Whistle, now.

[lostakasha.livejournal.com]

Um. I'm not sure why you spurned me at the altar, but Oz had something to do with it.

And thanks.

[lettered.livejournal.com]

What a ditz I am. I read The Mournful Whistle; I just didn't recognize the title (I *cough* kinda skimmed this comment and missed the part where you described the fic, which is why I didn't realize I'd read it until I read this comment again. My eyes were drawn to Lamb of God because I remember that title most perfectly.)

*is a spaz*

[lostakasha.livejournal.com]

That's why we're not geting hitched. You keep falling down.

[lettered.livejournal.com]

It's this damn dress. Why couldn't I wear the lovely silver, sequined body suit with a coordinating cream tutu, the one with a few "artistic" rips across the chest revealing my hard belly and a nipple*?

*stolen from stoney321. *cough*. Best wedding outfit ever.

I am a most complete moron!

[seraphcelene]

I read half of Lamb of God and for some reason, that I don't recall, I didn't finish it. I think that maybe I was at work or something and spaced on the end or something!

In light of that huge brain fart, let me say, now, that I LOVE this!!! I remember being totally engaged and very immediately. I need to sit down and organize my thoughts so that I can be more cohesive when conveying my joy! But in general, I love the tone and the atmosphere and how Angel is so central to the narrative while at the same time being so marginal. Everything is just touched upon and there is just so much going on at the same time. I love that sort of duality in fic, hell -- in books!

In conclusion, :) I love it and yay to you for writing it because if it gave you trouble, well, I really can't tell.

The Mournful Whistle is a neat little peak at Angel and his drive, really no pun intended, towards isolation. I really like that he is always moving and always resisting. My favorite section, however, was 1954. That one totally broke my heart!

Re: I am a most complete moron!

[lostakasha.livejournal.com]

No..no moronics from you. And thank you -- I'm really tickled that you liked LOG so much. It was so worth breaking a sweat over.

And yes, 1954 broke my heart. He wants so much, and just pushes himself away, so disciplined, so aware that he deserves nothing but pain. It makes that one moment when he surrenders to Buffy all the more tragic.

Thanks again for this lovely opportunity to share! I can't wait to see how your bunnies and WIPs develop!

[lettered.livejournal.com]

The Seduction of Wendy Darling: A Tragedy in Three Parts

Sounds so interesting!

The final part of the Ceremonies of Light and Dark trilogy. Part one is Secrets Not Long Buried and part two is A Butterfly Dream of Sand and Sky.

These were the first fics I read by you and I've always been afraid you were just abandoning it. I mean, it actually works perfectly with just the two fics, but I loved them so much I always wanted more. Glad to hear it's in the works!

Assatanata
pre-BtVS/Angel. Darla/Angel/Dru.

Excited to see this as well.

I'm very skittish about writing Spike,

me too!

Good luck on these endeavors!

Now to the part where I get to talk about myself ;o)

1. The Confessional (http://tkp.livejournal.com/4101.html). I love it because I hate/can't do first person, and I did. I love it because it finds a way of interacting with the readers you don't see in fiction much (imo). I love it because germain_pet beta'ed it and made it better than I ever thought it could be.

2. The fic I just finished, Five Ways NFA Probably Didn't End (http://tkp.livejournal.com/18369.html). Troublesome for many, many reasons, but most of all because it's non-linear and I have a very linear mind and way of story telling. I'm proud that I tried this piece, and exceedingly happy that I actually managed to fulfill a lot of my ambition with it, but a little disappointed because I think I convoluted/obstructed points I wanted to make with too-dense prose in some parts. I'm not sure I've made peace with it--in time, I'll be more accepting of what I did with it.

Because you know now I don't do something for nothing, what are your two pieces for 1 and 2?

[seraphcelene]

The Seduction of Wendy Darling is ... different. I hope that it works.

Assatanata is so ambitious that I'm afraid to even work on it. What I'm trying to get at is what lostakasha did in Lamb of God. If I can strike that tone than I might have gold, before then, I need to engage in lots o' lots o' research.

Ok. Let's see. I the fic that I love the most would be

When In Dreams I See Her because it's not about Angel, only it is. That ficlet was written for the mermaids. I dreamt of vicious, lean, cold-water monsters and those ladies were so awesome to write and so strangely easy that the rest of the ficlet just formed itself around them.


The most difficult thing I've ever written is also my biggest personal failure. Insomnium is just awful. It was the fourth, I think, Buffy fic I'd ever written, long before I learned that some things just aren't meant to be written RIGHT NOW (maybe ever).

Everything about it was difficult with the exception of the opening. Everything was forced. It was overly ambitious for a newbie writer, complex, and I couldn't handle it at the time. I was writing in images alone and added the exposition in later. That didn't really work, it made the story piecemeal and awkward. (Can you tell that I still don't like it? )

I still haven't made peace with it. I'd burn it except that I wrote it, and for better and worse it's part of my body of work, my personal canon. Definitly a humble reminder that I shouldn't run before I've learned to walk.

Meanwhile -- I've got your two pieces printed out. I'm ready to read!

[lettered.livejournal.com]

The Seduction of Wendy Darling is ... different. I hope that it works.

Me too, because I'm interested to see it.

Assatanata is so ambitious that I'm afraid to even work on it.

Boy do I know that feeling! If you ever wanna knock ideas off me, feel free to email me or drop a line or whatever.

When In Dreams I See Her

In case I didn't make it clear, I loved that fic.

The link to "Insomnium" doesn't work. Is this because you don't want anyone to read it??! :o)

And don't feel obliged to read those two fics...I should've mention that they're both rather longish (which is why I'm always wary of reccing people The Confessional, even though I think it's my favorite...really, don't read if you don't have time, you know?)

Thanks for the link to When In Dreams I See Her. That fic'll stick with me.

[seraphcelene]

Insomnium

And I can be embarrassed to say that it was my seventh(?) BtVS fic.

Aiya!!

Meanwhile. Look out for some brain storming. :)