Cupid Bow Mouth

"What does a writer become when she can no longer write? What's left over when the words don't come when called? What did Echo become after she was slaughtered for spurning Pan or after her collusion with Zeus was discovered and so she was punished by Hera, or after her rejection by Narcissus?"
- Sarah Crowe, The Red Tree

I am tired and going to bed shortly.

I am also sad.

The last few hours were spent updating House of Leaves, which is hosted by kita0610 at ficbitch with my eternal gratitude, with the three meager fics that I wrote last year and a new layout. (I have yet to produce anything this year, thank you for asking and makingmefeelsomuchworse!) As I went through checking links and the link, I was quite stunned to discover how much less fandom there is now. So many sites have disappeared. This last year even I disappeared, buried in the depths of collegiate life. I am itching to write, but can't seem to get anything written. I've got scraps and scraps, and if I can get one more piece finished than I will have written 100 fandom related fic and can retire in peace.

Meanwhile ... I wish that I could write like a house on fire. I wish that I had more time to read fic-ish things.

Okay, done whining.

I'm going to bed.

Happy Tuesday. I miss you guys.

You know how if you've never seen a thing work you wonder IF it works? I do ALL the time because how do you know? It could have gone bad and since it's never used, you'd never know it was broke. I think that about my airbags CONSTANTLY. My car is fifteen years old. Things don't work the way they used. I've never been in THAT kind of accident and I don't plan to. So, what to do? I can pay to get it tested, but that's extra cash that's currently unavailable. Anyway.

The fire alarm in my building just went off. I've never heard it, so at first I thought it was a building down the block being burglarized. One of the boutiques around the corner was getting broken into pretty regularly once upon a time. Total, snatch and grab where someone would put a brick through the window and snatch what they could off the mannequins. Totally random, if you ask me, because it was a little over priced women's boutique. And there wasn't much in the window and definitely nothing that one would call designer. I wondered, with no small bit of annoyance, when the police would get here to shut the thing off. That is until I started to smell the smoke. And looked outside. And saw one of my neighbors with coat and purse in hand. So, I opened the window and yelled out:

Me: What is that? Is that a fire alarm?
Neighbor: Yeah. *gesturing towards the building*
Me: What's on fire?
N: One of the apartments!
Me: Oh, OUR Building?

That kinda cleared up the it's-four-in-the-morning-and-I-was-asleep-cobwebs. Annoyance disappeared in favor of let's get organized and let's get outta here. I put on some sweatpants and woke up my brother. Then grabbed my purse, coat, cellphone, and scooped up my cat. Generally, my flip flips are by the door, so I jumped in them and headed out.

Here's where it gets special because as I was on my way out, one of my neighbors was on his way in. He, bless his altruistic soul, was knocking on everyone's door to get them up and out. He thought the fire was in the first apartment downstairs. That made life real Real for a moment and so I scooted a little quicker.

In retrospect standing on the front lawn with my cat wrapped in coat, trying to wiggle out and see what the fuck was going on, I marveled at his actions. Pretty awesome. Turns out my older neighbor lady hadn't heard or something. I felt bad. I'll have to add her to my list of people to Get Out in the Case of an Emergency.

So crazy morning and it's not even five. I'm supposed to go to the gym today. I better get back to bed. 7am will be here in no time at all.

Hijinks and Shenanigans. Last week was full o' them.

For the kids not playing the home version, I worked at a non-profit. Contracted through a staffing agency since May, my hours went from 20 per week to 32. It was supposed to be a part-time gig just to get me to school and then I was going to find something else. Well, as these things usually go with me, it turned into a long-term stint. And don't think that I wasn't looking because I was. My boss was crazy. Although the bulk of my pay came through an agency, my boss supplemented it with an additional stipend. Well, two of those payroll checks bounced. My boss also constantly blew through deadlines, threw temper tantrums and waited everything to the last possible moment. She also liked to pass the buck and play the blame game, seldom taking responsibility for anything that went wrong. Plus there was all of the not coming into the office and not answering email or her cell phone. It got crazy, I was bitter and disengaged, all the while taking three classes at CSULB.

The week of December 6th I found out that La Boss was planning to close the office for the last week of December. In a way it wasn't a surprise. Me and my one other co-worker were well aware that budget was fasting running out. Regardless, I needed to work so I called my agency for the umpteenth time and asked them to look for me other employment. I was planning to get cracking on the job front myself once Finals were over on the 17th.

Well fast forward to Monday, Dec 13th and my agency arranges a phone interview for the same day. It goes like gang busters and I get the official invite for a live interview the next day. Happy as a clam (because I have an interview and also because my boss is on vacation and out of the office for the next week) I work a couple of hours on Tuesday and then head off to my interview which seems to be kind of a formality. I need to pass a drug and background check and I am in like Flynn. Well, and here is where it gets really good ... on the way home I call the agency to tell them how things went and they are yes, yes, yes, you should be able to start on Monday to which I give a resounding YAY. Only there's bad news to go along with all of that. My employment with my current employer has been terminated. I'm all WTF and I was going to give notice and WTF?! Well, apparently, she hasn't been paying the bills so the agency pulled the staff. Can you believe it? Yeah, me neither.

And that is the story of how I lost a job and got a new one all in the same day. Almost at the same time, really.

What does all of that have to do with Katy Perry, you ask?

Well, Firework has been on replay. I loves it and think it's an awesome anthem despite the stupid video. It actually makes me cry because it reminds me of my awesomness and how I can have my dream if I just believe in Me! I've been gearing up to make Big Changes with Ms. Perry on soundtrack to get me there. Then Wham! Bam! Big Life Changes happen and now I am working (at continued low pay) at 6am to 3pm shift that will leave me plenty of afternoon to take classes and get hours tutoring or working at a writing resource center of some sort. All of this in service of me transitioning to teaching in the community college! YAY!!

I'm really excited, you guys. Keep your fingers crossed, guys! I got the official word today that I start tomorrow at le new job AND I have signed up for some of my classes. I am thinking of adding one more to round everything out. I'm feeling pretty good about everything. I'm feeling really excited about everything.

I am poor as a church mouse, hungry, finals start tomorrow (I have a paper and a PowerPoint to complete), and I have no clue how I'm going to pay next month's rent. Two weeks before Christmas, the leaves have fallen from the trees and litter the ground, but the sky is clear, and the sun is out and shining bright. It's a gorgeous 82 degrees today, and I picked up some essential groceries (plus coffee)wearing a wife beater and flip-flops. Thank you, Santa Ana winds. Thank you so very much.

CRY! You guys. i am at the mechanic, in the cold typing awkwardly with my thumbs, did I mention in the cold, and trying not to cry. This totally sucks giant hairy furry scary monkey balls. i barely know how to use this mini keyboard and it sucks and it's cold so my nose is going to run at any second. someone tell me something nice. or funny. i need to smile. plus the shift key only wants to work every other time and it's cold.

Good Morning, my darlings!

This weekend was full o' accomplishments. I was a monster, yo! Churning out assignments, for better or for worse, as fast as my exhausted, overly caffeinated little brain could handle. Writing academically for the first time in seven years was a challenge. I went through draft after draft after draft on one paper and still ended up writing until 6am the day that it was due. I know not how I survived. But by the end of the weekend I had much to show for my diligence and perseverance.

1. Completed one nearly five page paper (I got four pages and two lines) on the impact computer mediated communication on the writing skills of the Millennial Generation.
2. Completed one six page lesson plan about the impact of pandemics in the 19th century on the cultural consciousness, and the resultant Victorian preoccupation with themes of death, disease, and morbidity (is that redundant?) and the paralleling rise in the popularity of 20th century post-apocalyptic zombie fiction post SARS and swine flu outbreaks.
3. Passed one quiz with 15/15 correct.
4. Total hours slept between Friday night and Monday morning? 14.5

I also:

5. Went to a baby shower.
6. Had wine, cheese and yummy dinner with good friends.
7. Reconnected with jr. high school chums.
8. Watched more kpop dance video sequences than you could shake a stick at.


Woo-Hoo's

a) The little girl in the pink t-shirt and blue jeans, enraptured by the ten pack of Barbie outfits that her Mom was about to buy at Costco. She was in love. She just stared and stared, so absorbed in admiring the soon-to-be her very own package of awesomeness that she almost missed putting it on the conveyor belt for the cashier to ring it up.

b)The little old Asian man sitting at the bus stop this morning with his hat and long, thick, snow white beard.

c) Akira's Hip Hop Shop because Ando James Kyson Lee was one of my favorite parts of Heroes, and watching him be cute and make-out with a gorgeous sista-girl was pretty awesome.

d) Almond Champagne


I also did no writing for NaNo, which I am failing, but that is not a woo-hoo. What did you do this weekend?

Guys! I am in LOVE! Super Junior is teh shiznit. I am a twelve year old.

And guys! The choreography is Srs Bizness and there's a PANDA!

I just officially signed up for NaNoWriMo.

As if I wasn't busy enough.

Wish me luck, kids.

So, you guys ... A-! How about that?!

And I don't know why I don't have a YAY icon. What is up with that?!