Cupid Bow Mouth

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Although, somehow, I think angst might be slighty more appropriate.

ETA
Oh! And Friday night was a blast. Sorry you all missed it. The Pier, as per usual. And just in case you were wondering, I was, apparantly and unbeknowest to my parents, destined to be a fish. Seymour Sigmond and My Guru kept me happily stocked with beer all of the night. ZuZuQ eventually caught up with us and we hit a house party on the beach. The bestest part? I did my first kegstand. It wasn't terribly impressive and didn't last very long, I can't believe the wierdness of having beer shooting out of one's nose, but I managed it.

Hermosa Beach with the kids. Par-tayed like it was 1999 only with a little less dancing. Lots o' beer ($1.00 on tap 'til 7 - we rolled in around 4) and two shots later I was frolicking with the best of them.

Everyone came.

Sin and I showed off newly muscled gams in short skirts. I was an Amazon in platform espadrille sandals. Statuesque would be a really good word if I weren't clocking in at just barely 5'4".

Sin rocked flounces at the top of her thighs; it was very hard not to flip them and peek her panties. Far, far too easy to reach under the abbreviated hem and pinch her ass. There was also a butterfly in her hair. She was almost too precious. I wore pink.

King Man Slut of the Universe behaved for a change. Gasp. Horror. He has a shiny, brand new girlfriend. I don't think it's The Trinket. Intern One has a new lady love as well. He was adorably shy about the whole thing.

Seymour Sigmond welcomed me with a Corona and Kamikaze shot. After that I was fine. Mighty fine. He was broken and ill by the end of the night.

I was very good for once. Spent a huge portion of the night either hanging off My Guru or ensconced at the bar. The better to order beer. Next time maybe we'll dance. Next time maybe I'll kiss someone. Not that I minded this night. I've been more friendly of late than usual.

But, and this I must say, there are a lot of sore bottoms out there. I was free with the love pecks twixt two fingers. King Man Slut of the Universe has got to be feeling even more abused. I was pulling his chest hair all night.

Yeah. Cause that's how I do it.

(Sponsored by the Roman Catholic Church. Bringing you excuses for debauchery for decades.)

Sometimes I have a life and it's a rocking good NC-17 time.

Really. I do.

If you don’t believe me then I have two words for you.

Mardi. Gras.

San Diego 2004.

So, that's two words, a city and a year. But, you get the idea.

It's not unlike Summer. London. 2003.

And like London it was excessive and it was fun. We were cute. There were hot guys and scandalous girls. A plethora of Adult-type drinks and beads, beads, beads, beads.

Barcardi Girl and ZuZuQ both work for Brown and Foreman, Alcohol distributors extraordinaire. Bacardi Girl works for Southern Comfort and ZuZuQ works for Jack Daniels. Partying with the girls is always fun cause, hey, free drinks.

For Mardi Gras B&F sponsored drink specials and two "floats" for the parade. Sin and I took off early and met Bacardi Girl and ZuZuQ down in San Diego. The Finlandia (Vodka for the uninitiated) bus/float, turns out, is occupied by the San Diego Hockey Team -- The Gulls. Yeah, I didn't know either. And since they're all guys, they need more girls on the bus. So, we are unresistingly directed to a light blue, Finlandia decorated bus chock full of cuties. Sin immediately peeps a hoty with inky black hair. She scoots up and, in total Sin mode, strikes up a conversation. The next thing you know he's all infatuated and in love.

His friend, The Patch, wasn't bad. Cute enough and I was just drunk enough not to mind. ZuZuQ had found herself plenty of drinks and a Matt LeBlanc look-a-like and Bacardi Girl was behaving herself for once.

Now, since we were partying with the bigwigs everything was free. We got into everywhere courtesy of a VIP bracelet and dropped our drinks on the company tab. Also, we were hanging with the hockey team so, whether or not they make the bucks, they were flashing the dough and buying us drinks en masse.

Tossing beads into the crowd was hilarious. I have never seen so many people in my life, and we're talking full grown, adult-type people, going ape shit over something so trivial as a strand of cheap plastic beads. They were hanging from lamp posts, sitting in trees, cursing and crushing each other to get someone's attention and catch beads. I always aimed for the very back of the crowd or to the quiet looking people. Cause hey, once that would have been me.

I didn't see any girl boobies, but the guys were not shy about lifting their shirts.Afterwards we hit a club and danced ourselves silly. Again, no cover, no line, free drinks all around.

Sin scooted with Sweet Dick later on and turns out he kept her well and truly sauced. That is until they made a break for the hotel room at which point, homechick, got nervous and downed a shot of Jack to reboot her courage.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, I was alternately dancing it up or, um, "keeping company" with The Patch. Who is not a bad kisser by any stretch of the imagination. (Turns out he is very good at what he does.) ZuZuQ was missing in action and Bacardi Girl stumbled home at some point after Sin.

Me and The Patch hoofed it back to the hotel after a semi-desperate plea from Sin. I really don't think she wanted to be alone with Sweet Dick. The Patch, graciously offered to walk me home and then next thing you know it's like high school.

Two couples. Two beds. Lights out.

I'll leave the rest to your imagination.

But that's not to say that there was anything more than heavy petting occurring betwixt the sheets because twice Sweet Dick, gorgeous prick that he was, leapt out of bed and declared his intention to go home because Sin was mean and not interested in giving up the goods. I laughed because, dude, he was being a serious ass. Sin managed to persuade him to stay once but the second time -- no dice.

Right before he left ZuZuQ came stumbling into the hotel hauling not one, but two guys, Joey Tribiani and his bud. But, unfortunately, no joy there either. She made a beeline for the toilet and they, no doubt noticing the extremely occupied room, jammed but quick.

The Patch, who had driven Sweet Dick to the event, stayed behind and got the job done. But, alas, he, too, soon left.

ZuZuQ fell into bed and proceeded to vomit into the sheets. It was hairy for a while there. I had a bed to myself and Sin climbed in with me sometime in the wee hours of the morning.

ZuZuQ went back and forth to the bathroom all day, losing her cookies every time until somewhere around 1 pm. Poor thing. And the sad thing is, despite the photographic evidence of her good time, she doesn't remember a damned thing. We have pictures of her kissing three different guys. Hugging. Dancing. I, personally, saw her snogging Joey Tribiani. But, sigh, she had NO memory of any thing.

Not that I'm surprised.

The alcohol was moving freely on the bus (obviously at no charge) and it turns out she was pounding shots (Jaeger?) once we got to the club.

It was not a game.

All in all a wacky fun party moment. AND it was mid-week.

Sadly, because I indulged so heartily in Mardi Gras this year, we decided that I should also participate in Lent. I've given up pastries and candy (e.g. most forms of fun sugar). It's been a week and I'm all like, how much longer?

I can't believe that people do this every year.

But, hey, for that kinda fun? It might just be worth it.

Sin and I went out in the OC and hit on hot guys at a large Sharkey's replica full of randoms. The guys were giants and we were the cutest things there. There was discussion of cleveage, general boob specs, collarbones and football.

Macaroni Noodle asked Sin about her breasts, her car and her job. We decided that he was a gold-digger and not to be trusted. Turns out he was married. So, in a way, we were right.

This is the worse hangover I've ever had.

In my *ENTIRE* life.

Ever.