can't win for losing...

[seraphcelene]

Had an interview. Interview was cancelled indefinitely. I can't win for losing. Srsly. Apparently, I'm not good for much.

Comments

[a2zmom.livejournal.com]

You are good for plenty.

The current job market (or more like lack there of) is definitely not a reflection on you.

[seraphcelene]

Thanks. I'm struggling a little right now. Trying not to let things get me down, but man, sometimes it's a challenge. Spent 30 mins today Spinning and that helped a lot. Nose back to the grind stone!

[a2zmom.livejournal.com]

What field are you looking for work in, if I may ask?

[seraphcelene]

I suppose that's part of the problem. I don't have a field, per se. I've been working in Admin and Support positions for a long time. My initial plan had been to get a PhD and then teach at the University level. But then my Mom got really sick. I moved back to CA after grad school and ended up in a Customer Service job to pay the bills. I took care of her until she passed away and then took care of my two youngest brothers. That lasted way too long, most of it with me chasing jobs and trying to, again, keep the bills paid. So, at this point, my experience and my education don't match. That's the only thing that I can think of as a preventative. I've applied to things that I'm over qualified for, under qualified for, that should be right on target. At this point I'm just frustrated. I don't want to go back to school because earning one more degree with my track record makes no sense. Not to mention, I'm already eyeballs deep in school debt that won't be paid back before I die. It's just a drain.

So, I'm in a funk again. I just don't get it. I feel pretty uselessss right now, pretty loser-ish. Good por nada. Ha! I typically have pretty solid self-esteem, but nothing knocks you on your ass like being perpetually undervalued, poor, intellectually unstimulated, and frustrated. This wasn't the future that I signed up for. Not sure who made off with my sunset.

I know it's a low moment and I'll be happy for it to hit the road without me. Just ... can I find job with decent wages in the meantime? Maybe I'm asking for too much here. Sometimes, I think I had my day in the sun. I was a good student, I got to travel, my academic career was pretty successful. Maybe that was it. Maybe that was my share of happiness. Depressing thought, that one. Ok! I'm being whiny and weepy and depressing. That means it's time to do something productive. Like finish some story notes. That sounds like a good idea!