things I'm in love with: the soul crushing heartbreak of being unwanted

[seraphcelene]

Very long time, no see.

Here we are, once more shouting into the void.

I don't know where else to put this, so I'm putting it here.

Yesterday, my first ever submission to a magazine was rejected. It stings and it makes me question whether or not this is a thing that I can do. I also totally acknowledge that it's not necessarily anything more than someone had a better story. I submitted along with someone who definitely had a better story. A story that was so gorgeous I was like they will DEFINITELY take it. Yet, they didn't.

The lesson? It's all subjective and relative and there's no accounting for taste.

Does it make me feel better? A little?

Did I immediately submit somewhere else? I did.

Will they take it? Probably not ... but I guess that's okay, too. It's a learning curve and process and one that I never would have imagined trying if not for Buffy fandom and this space on Dreamwidth and before that Livejournal. It was there that I learned that maybe I could be a writer one day.

Other things:

*Novel MS edits are trash.
*Trying to prep for NaNo is trash.
*Work is trash.
*I'm going to a revision writing in retreat in January with Maggie Stiefvater which is awesome.
*I went to Spain last month (did not love)
*I went back to Scotland in July to write in a castle (crazy amazing)

I'm tired, guys; but I suppose the universe still loves me a little bit:

*Lili as on TMC this afternoon
*The Wish is on Fuse right now. Charisma Carpenter was so gorgeous in that blue outfit.
*Interview with the Vampire on AMC. Perfect! The texture, the casting, the nuance and changes in the story. All of it. I love it. Sam Reid as Lestat is perfectly charming and moody and petulant. I don't think they could have done better. Louis is as soulfully self-righteous, tormented, and beautiful as I could have wished for.


I'm reading Harrow the Ninth right now and I have a serious love/hate going on with it. Everyone in this book is literally the worse person ever, but I'm compelled by them. It's such a puzzlebox of a story that I can't help but keep going.

Keep going. Isn't that what we learned from Walt Disney and Meet the Robinsons? Keep Moving Forward.

So, moving forward. Edits await. Trash though the may be.

This all kinda sucks right now.

Love, me ...

Comments

[thawrecka]

I've been rejected by so many magazines. I don't know that you ever get used to the experience, but I keep on at it anyway.

[seraphcelene]

Hiya!!

Have you gotten anything published?

It's such a weird experience. I was reading that you should include your a cover letter with publishing credits, but not if they were unpaid. That led me to think, well, if you've never published that puts you behind the 8 ball, especially if publishing to a magazine is deemed a little easier but unacceptable.

I am tired!

[thawrecka]

I haven't gotten anything published yet, but I live in hope.

I do think a lot of the publishing industry is about networking and who you know. How much of the listing publishing credits is about proof that other people have vetted you?! But I've been trying to think of it like a game so I can find the fun in it, anyway.

[seraphcelene]

Oh, man. That's a great angle!! I didn't quite think of it that way. Definitely changes the way that i think about it. It's a resume to get a job. Ha! Definitely takes some of the sting out.

[lynnenne]

I remember reading, years ago, that the average writer has to submit their work to 20 different publications before they get published. Which sounds exhausting, but also makes rejection feel less personal. It’s pretty much a numbers game.

[seraphcelene]

Yeah ... it sounds like job hunting, which in a way, I suppose it is. :/