Meme: Stolen from lettred

[seraphcelene]

Pick a character I've written and I'll list the top ideas/concepts/etc I keep in mind while writing them that I believe are essential to accurately depicting them.*

*I don't think it follows that if other people don't have those concepts in mind they're inaccurately depicting them. For what it's worth.

Comments

[lettered.livejournal.com]

Huzzah!

Buffy.

[seraphcelene]

I think the wine and chicken won, but I dreamt a little about Hiro, and how much he loved Lucy.

Thanks for asking about Buffy. My meme will look a little less lonely next week. LOL. (I have had too much wine, and the idea of Hiro and Lucy totally makes me sad.)

Buffy is a bit of a cipher, sometimes. I get her less than I get, say, Willow. But, whenever I write Buffy, I think:

1. She is a hero even when she doesn't want to be, which is all the time.
2. Buffy does not want to be the Slayer and whether or not she says it aloud, being the Slayer defines and structures everything about her life, who she is, what she thinks she wants, and what she thinks she deserves. Not *wanting* to be the Slayer nuances everything so that there is a constant internal tug of war, a part of herself that gets shut down when she has to go into action, but that is laid out and picked apart when she is alone in the dark
3. Buffy doesn't want to be the Slayer, but she is, so she deals with it. She makes the *tough* decisions.
4. Way deep down, Buffy is broken, and she's been patched over, and patched herself over so many times that, mostly, on the surface she's a collection of fractures. She is also lethal.
5. The biggest turning point for me is Buffy before Angel died and Buffy after she killed Angel. The world changed.
6. The world also changed when Joyce died, when Dawn showed up, and when Buffy died (the second time). Joyce dying was the most important of the three because that is the point where Buffy becomes totally unanchored and so she CAN die (for the second time).
7. Buffy is always, intrinsically, alone.
8. I don't know how to describe it, but Faith is the only person who gets how alone Buffy is, so that when they are together, they are no longer alone. There is a part of them, maybe the slayer part, that lives each in the other so that when they are together it is like looking into a mirror and seeing your reflection, but also like standing and looking out of your eyes at the same time.
9. Buffy is afraid of the things in Faith that call to her, and she resents Faith for that. Faith knows this.
10. Buffy loves Angel. She will always love Angel. Even when she loves other people.
11. Even though she is not exactly waiting (she will date and have relationships, and have sex), Buffy will always be waiting for Angel.
12. Buffy is not happy. She has not been happy since before Riley left.
13. Buffy wanted to love RIley, but she never really did. She loved the *idea* of him, though. Riley understands this.
14. When she was young, Buffy was soft, over the years she becomes leaner and harder (personality-wise and physically).
15. Faith and Dawn are the second most important relationships that Buffy has. Willow and Xander ground her, they have her back, but Faith and Dawn are more than just family; they are her.