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Seriously?
Honestly, I just don't get it.
I remember when Twilight was first released and I picked it up while perusing the book section at Target. I flipped through a few pages and found the writing less than compelling, so I skipped it. I continued to do that randomly as the book became ever more popular and sequels were released. BUT, every single time, I just couldn't bring myself to do it, to lay down the cash and buy the book. I couldn't see the appeal. I tried reading the opening paragraphs, I tried the closing. Just ... no joy.
In the end, I should have listened to my gut because reading Twilight was worse than reading The Looking Glass Wars. I didn't think that was possible. One reviewer had this to say about Twilight:
The vampires are not only presented sympathetically, but with their amazing superhero-ish powers, spectacular looks, and hipster style, they make vampirism seem like a sensible and appealing lifestyle choice -- though they would certainly fit in better in Soho than in Forks, WA. Still, it's mostly good fun, and passes the time pleasantly.
I agree with everything but that last sentence. Twilight did not pass the time pleasantly. I spent the majority of the book checking the page count and wishing that it was over. I was hoping for, expecting, something way more entertaining. Twilight was just bad, poorly and amateurishly written Mary Sue wish fulfillment. I should have stuck with![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
stoney321's summary. It was way more with the lol's. I should have stuck with my plan to see the movie and skip out on all the rest cause this book has left a really bad taste in my mouth. It's just bad, bad, bad, bad, bad in a very bad way. Uneven, schizophrenic, boring, misogynistic and silly.
Bella Swann is one of the worse, most insecure and apathetic heroines ever. There really isn't ANYTHING likeable about her. Edward is McPerfect and he sparkles in the sun. I thought that was a joke. Apparently not. I mean, really? C'mon?! I read an interview where SMeyer said that she'd only read The Vampire Lestat and didn't know much about vampire lore in general. Well, you can totally tell! Edward has moments where he sounds very much like Louis or even Lestat. The whole white, hard, cold-as-ice thing? Straight out of The Vampire Chronicles. And they sparkle? In the sun? WTF? I mean, she threw in some potentially interesting vampire lore, but failed to follow through on anything.
The majority of the book was a weirdly wimpy romance that got shoved to the side in the eleventh hour for an action-adventure sequence that I couldn't be arsed to read. It was so out of left field that I checked out as Bella was fleeing for her life with Edward, Emmet and Alice and only read the last two pages of the Prom. I mean, really? Who doesn't know where this is going?
Honestly, I have no desire to read any more of these books. What I do think that I'll do is head down to the bookstore and pick up that copy of Peeps that I've been meaning to buy. I thoroughly enjoyed Scott Westerfield's Uglies trilogy and I've read really good reviews of Peeps. It will be nice to read a YA vampire novel that's actually good. Especially considering the Epic Fail of Twilight!!
Really?! I mean, seriously! How is this popular? How is anyone reading this shit and not cringing? Really?
If I had a kid, there would be NO reading of SMeyer books. It'd be like serious contraband that would get you GROUNDED. Then I'd light the grill and have a good old fashioned book burning on the patio. I've read Harlequin romances that were better than this and half the size. I read fanfic CONSTANTLY that's better than this! How did this book even get published? HOW? There are hours of my life that are gone and that I will NEVER get back. My gray hairs were growing while I could have been doing something else ... like, cleaning the refrigerator or defrosting the freezer. There's a PILE o' laundry that needs doing. My checkbook needs balancing, but no! I opted to read Twilight. I said, hey, let's give that book a shot. OMG! Bad choice. Bad choic. No cookie for me!
Someone mentioned making it through the LKH books. Well, even on her WORSE day, LKH was better than this. Twilight was all whine, whine, whine, I am lowly and unworthy despite my sudden and incomprehensible attractiveness and popularity it must all be a mistake and then there are pages upon pages of boring exposition. Vampires are monsters, even though in Twilight they really aren't. In Twilight, vampires are rock-superhero-superstars until the end. Just so that we can believe what we've been told, here's a random gang of vamps who are Bad Guys. Boo! Hiss!
OMG! I am so over this whole Twilight shit! OVER. IT. I will see the movie, most likely on DVD. Again, my only interest in the movie is the prettiness of Cedric Diggory and Kristen Stewart's gorgeous shoulders. I am ... I am floored. I ... I need to go read something else and scrub that book from my brain. SCRUB it AWAY!!!!!!!! If you want the funny review, full of the lol's, go readstoney321's review: Twilight Stonified.
Honestly, I just don't get it.
I remember when Twilight was first released and I picked it up while perusing the book section at Target. I flipped through a few pages and found the writing less than compelling, so I skipped it. I continued to do that randomly as the book became ever more popular and sequels were released. BUT, every single time, I just couldn't bring myself to do it, to lay down the cash and buy the book. I couldn't see the appeal. I tried reading the opening paragraphs, I tried the closing. Just ... no joy.
In the end, I should have listened to my gut because reading Twilight was worse than reading The Looking Glass Wars. I didn't think that was possible. One reviewer had this to say about Twilight:
The vampires are not only presented sympathetically, but with their amazing superhero-ish powers, spectacular looks, and hipster style, they make vampirism seem like a sensible and appealing lifestyle choice -- though they would certainly fit in better in Soho than in Forks, WA. Still, it's mostly good fun, and passes the time pleasantly.
I agree with everything but that last sentence. Twilight did not pass the time pleasantly. I spent the majority of the book checking the page count and wishing that it was over. I was hoping for, expecting, something way more entertaining. Twilight was just bad, poorly and amateurishly written Mary Sue wish fulfillment. I should have stuck with
stoney321's summary. It was way more with the lol's. I should have stuck with my plan to see the movie and skip out on all the rest cause this book has left a really bad taste in my mouth. It's just bad, bad, bad, bad, bad in a very bad way. Uneven, schizophrenic, boring, misogynistic and silly. Bella Swann is one of the worse, most insecure and apathetic heroines ever. There really isn't ANYTHING likeable about her. Edward is McPerfect and he sparkles in the sun. I thought that was a joke. Apparently not. I mean, really? C'mon?! I read an interview where SMeyer said that she'd only read The Vampire Lestat and didn't know much about vampire lore in general. Well, you can totally tell! Edward has moments where he sounds very much like Louis or even Lestat. The whole white, hard, cold-as-ice thing? Straight out of The Vampire Chronicles. And they sparkle? In the sun? WTF? I mean, she threw in some potentially interesting vampire lore, but failed to follow through on anything.
The majority of the book was a weirdly wimpy romance that got shoved to the side in the eleventh hour for an action-adventure sequence that I couldn't be arsed to read. It was so out of left field that I checked out as Bella was fleeing for her life with Edward, Emmet and Alice and only read the last two pages of the Prom. I mean, really? Who doesn't know where this is going?
Honestly, I have no desire to read any more of these books. What I do think that I'll do is head down to the bookstore and pick up that copy of Peeps that I've been meaning to buy. I thoroughly enjoyed Scott Westerfield's Uglies trilogy and I've read really good reviews of Peeps. It will be nice to read a YA vampire novel that's actually good. Especially considering the Epic Fail of Twilight!!
Really?! I mean, seriously! How is this popular? How is anyone reading this shit and not cringing? Really?
If I had a kid, there would be NO reading of SMeyer books. It'd be like serious contraband that would get you GROUNDED. Then I'd light the grill and have a good old fashioned book burning on the patio. I've read Harlequin romances that were better than this and half the size. I read fanfic CONSTANTLY that's better than this! How did this book even get published? HOW? There are hours of my life that are gone and that I will NEVER get back. My gray hairs were growing while I could have been doing something else ... like, cleaning the refrigerator or defrosting the freezer. There's a PILE o' laundry that needs doing. My checkbook needs balancing, but no! I opted to read Twilight. I said, hey, let's give that book a shot. OMG! Bad choice. Bad choic. No cookie for me!
Someone mentioned making it through the LKH books. Well, even on her WORSE day, LKH was better than this. Twilight was all whine, whine, whine, I am lowly and unworthy despite my sudden and incomprehensible attractiveness and popularity it must all be a mistake and then there are pages upon pages of boring exposition. Vampires are monsters, even though in Twilight they really aren't. In Twilight, vampires are rock-superhero-superstars until the end. Just so that we can believe what we've been told, here's a random gang of vamps who are Bad Guys. Boo! Hiss!
OMG! I am so over this whole Twilight shit! OVER. IT. I will see the movie, most likely on DVD. Again, my only interest in the movie is the prettiness of Cedric Diggory and Kristen Stewart's gorgeous shoulders. I am ... I am floored. I ... I need to go read something else and scrub that book from my brain. SCRUB it AWAY!!!!!!!! If you want the funny review, full of the lol's, go read
stoney321's review: Twilight Stonified.
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no subject
Date: 2008-08-28 11:35 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2008-08-28 06:10 pm (UTC)From:It's no wonder people don't read anymore, if this is the kind of crap that gets offered up.
no subject
Date: 2008-08-29 02:38 am (UTC)From:You know what could make "Twilight" better? If, like, Stoney and
ETA: I should mention, BTW, that "Breaking Dawn" is actually fantastic for the lulz. And...it pains me to admit this...the middle part of the book, from Jacob's point of view, was JUST good enough for me to be unable to stop reading. I kept going, "God, this is horrid," and yet, kept reading.
However, I should also mention that I...didn't actually read Bella's bits of the book. I skipped her in the beginning, and gave up very quickly when it went back to her after Jacob's part was done.
If you wanna give it a chance, drop me your e-mail address and I'll send you the pdf.
no subject
Date: 2008-08-29 05:11 pm (UTC)From:I skimmed through the other books and, although, Meyer's writing style does seem to be improving, I was still very pained. Loser Bella becoming a vampire and then becoming perfect was too much for me. Her special, perfect half-breed daughter ... no words.
So, yeah. Movie-verse. Possibly, movie-verse only because it looks like they might have figured out that the story needed a lot of fleshing out and re-working. We'll see.
In other news, I didn't buy Peeps (because I am pained by the first person POV at the moment), but I did by Melissa Marr's Wicked Lovely. The title has been calling me for months and months and months. I'm hoping that its a decent read. Otherwise, I might jump off a bridge.
No ... JK. I still have Gaiman's Anansi Boys and Kiernan's Low Red Moon in case of emergencies. And those are pretty much guaranteed for lit goodness.
no subject
Date: 2008-08-29 06:24 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2008-08-29 05:15 pm (UTC)From:Yeah, my humor just doesn't go there with books. Movies?! Now, I'm more likely to find enjoyment in the horror of a bad movie, but books that are just bad like that are just a betrayal.
It's nobody's fault but my own. I *did* read your comics by the way and everything that everyone was saying and my curiosity was piqued because people were still reading them. Even though they were bad. I thought there was something redeeming somewhere. Apparently, not. At least not for me.
*is sad*
no subject
Date: 2008-08-31 04:44 pm (UTC)From:I think I used to have far less appreciation of bad before living with my_daroga. The best thing about the Twilight books is reading them together with her. I don't think I'd be doing it alone.
no subject
Date: 2008-08-29 05:15 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2008-08-31 04:45 pm (UTC)From: