I was always naturally cuddly with my girlfriends (small "g"). And they loved it ... in private. But in public they'd get nervous that people would think we were Teh Gay. This was back in teen years/early 20s and these girlfriends had grown up in Fundie Cult church, as had I. Appearance was everything. I wasn't so influenced by church mores, because my parents had rather unusual attitudes and because I had already decided I had absolutely no intention of *ever* having a romantic relationship in The Church, but my girlfriends were paranoid about getting in trouble (with church authorities - a real possibility) and of giving eligible males the wrong impression (thus damaging their reputations & dating prospects).
Ha - I just remembered the one time, back when I was actually working for the church, when a guy pulled me aside and told me I shouldn't pinch one of my girlfriends 'cause it "looked inappropriate." I wanted to know in what way, and he turned beet red. >;D
Now that we're all grown up and out of Fundie Cult clutches, my best friend doesn't have any qualms about just plopping down on the sofa with her legs in my lap to be stroked - or the other way around with her head in my lap to have her hair stroked. She's more relaxed in public as well, although not to that extent, since she has 2 kids and lives in a conservative area ... sometimes you *do* need to worry what other people will think ...
I tend to be very cuddly with my good girlfriends, if it's something they are comfortable with. Most people I've met are not comfortable with purely affectionate touching. As you note, either it's hands off altogether, or they assume touching is a sexual come-on. Which really ... irritating, isn't it?! *rolls eyes*
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Date: 2006-06-29 03:22 am (UTC)From:I was always naturally cuddly with my girlfriends (small "g"). And they loved it ... in private. But in public they'd get nervous that people would think we were Teh Gay. This was back in teen years/early 20s and these girlfriends had grown up in Fundie Cult church, as had I. Appearance was everything. I wasn't so influenced by church mores, because my parents had rather unusual attitudes and because I had already decided I had absolutely no intention of *ever* having a romantic relationship in The Church, but my girlfriends were paranoid about getting in trouble (with church authorities - a real possibility) and of giving eligible males the wrong impression (thus damaging their reputations & dating prospects).
Ha - I just remembered the one time, back when I was actually working for the church, when a guy pulled me aside and told me I shouldn't pinch one of my girlfriends 'cause it "looked inappropriate." I wanted to know in what way, and he turned beet red. >;D
Now that we're all grown up and out of Fundie Cult clutches, my best friend doesn't have any qualms about just plopping down on the sofa with her legs in my lap to be stroked - or the other way around with her head in my lap to have her hair stroked. She's more relaxed in public as well, although not to that extent, since she has 2 kids and lives in a conservative area ... sometimes you *do* need to worry what other people will think ...
I tend to be very cuddly with my good girlfriends, if it's something they are comfortable with. Most people I've met are not comfortable with purely affectionate touching. As you note, either it's hands off altogether, or they assume touching is a sexual come-on. Which really ... irritating, isn't it?! *rolls eyes*