Fic: Firefly Friday Color Challenge

[seraphcelene]

Title: Burn
Author: seraphcelene
Rating: G
Summary: Wash and the color of his love



Blue, violet, gold, orange on its way to red in a fierce burst of color as they break atmo. He fell in love with that color first, that deep orange red. Fell in love with it before he learned to love the blue of the sky or the jab of weightlessness in his belly. Loved it long before the elegant beauty of the starry black ‘verse.

It is the color of his love for Zoe: warm, deep, passionate. The exhilaration of flight and the freedom of flying. His woman tucked beside him and the burn of atmo at their backs.

Comments

[lettered.livejournal.com]

Oh, I loved this. Especially that last line; there's comfort in the first half and so much fiery passion in the second. And that's Wash/Zoe all over. Thanks for this!

[seraphcelene]

HA! Glad that you enjoyed. Total last minute, throw-away drabble. Everyone was writing about the "primary" colors: red, blue, black, white, and I thought of burnt orange just because no one else did. The ending is a bit of a cop-out, but that is my biggest weakness as a writer, I always sum up the ending as if I've run out of steam. Which I probably have. :) I really want to learn to focus enough to make the endings a punch in the gut. I've got some things on the back burner that maybe I can do that with. We'll see.

:)

[lettered.livejournal.com]

Erm. Personally, I liked the ending better than the beginning. While the language in the first paragraph was beautiful, the intent felt rote: "hello, I'm setting up a metaphor." The second paragraph was the meat of it, the: "this is what I'm really saying." And while I understand what you mean about saying, "this is what I'm really saying" can be a bad idea in fiction, it didn't feel so here--you did it with subtlety and eloquence that didn't at all feel like a club to the head, but rather the end of a poem.

Just imo.