seraphcelene (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
seraphcelene) wrote2005-12-08 08:41 am
seraphcelene) wrote2005-12-08 08:41 am
Entry tags:
great essays give me a happy
Meaness doesn't really pay. But you like to do it anyway.
I don't. Thing is I've NEVER been good at being mean to people, at least not intentionally. I just can't do it because I feel bad pretty immediately and then I have to apologize and I HATE apologizing because that admits to wrong doing and I can DO NO WRONG. So, why do something that I'm going to need to apologize for anyway. Besides, usually when I feel the need to lash out it has nothing at all to do with the person and it's just me needing to vent, so what's the point in that. I hate taking my moods out on other people because it isn't their fault in the first place.
Sometimes, though, I really wish I could be mean. I mean really mean. Like Mean Girls mean. And let's not kid ourselves because I am NOT a very nice person. I'm too honest for that. I do, however, have tact and common sense and an exaggerated sense of fair play.
Plus, my mother always said that if you don't have anything nice to say then don't say anything at all.
I've mostly grown out of that.
It still haunts me, however.
It's really unsettling to admit that.
...
I don't. Thing is I've NEVER been good at being mean to people, at least not intentionally. I just can't do it because I feel bad pretty immediately and then I have to apologize and I HATE apologizing because that admits to wrong doing and I can DO NO WRONG. So, why do something that I'm going to need to apologize for anyway. Besides, usually when I feel the need to lash out it has nothing at all to do with the person and it's just me needing to vent, so what's the point in that. I hate taking my moods out on other people because it isn't their fault in the first place.
Sometimes, though, I really wish I could be mean. I mean really mean. Like Mean Girls mean. And let's not kid ourselves because I am NOT a very nice person. I'm too honest for that. I do, however, have tact and common sense and an exaggerated sense of fair play.
Plus, my mother always said that if you don't have anything nice to say then don't say anything at all.
I've mostly grown out of that.
It still haunts me, however.
It's really unsettling to admit that.
...