I Have an Uncomfortableness

[seraphcelene]

When I'm in shape, going to the gym, running, weight training, pilates, etc, Mama Coodah says that I look like a brickhouse.

Yooouuu know! Like the song.

Although, Mama Coodah is my cousin, so she has to say things like that. Only I do believe it's true. When in control, I have a rather cute hourglass figure. However, it has currently run amok due to my severe avoidance of all things aerobic, so that, at the moment, I am pretty much just a house.

I am also PMS'ing. Which means that currently my jeans are too tight because of my crazy bloated belly and my shirt is too small because of the swollen boobs. Now, the boobs look good, but going up a cup size once a month is not exactly fun. I made the mistake of trying to buy a bra last month right before my period and the sale's girl measured me into a D!!!! Me!!

Little ole me in a D. I was mortified.

So, now, I am bloated and swollen and have an obnoxious craving for fried, salty foods and Coca-Cola.

I am squat rather than curvy and my face looks like the Alaskan cast after the Exxon Valdez.

Help me. Help me, please.